Dear God

Dear God,
As you know by now,
I am not a fan of pain
in any form,
my own, of course,
but especially not
in my children
and now grandchildren.
Always way worse.

I know, I know.
It’s an unavoidable part
of being human.
It’s how we grow strong,
etc, etc, etc.
My head understands all that.
But my heart,
not so much.

I hear about any of them
struggling
and I can feel
a cold, hard hand
grasp my heart.
I know that I am in
for a long bout
with that old familiar
sickening stealer of sleep-
worry.

When my kids were little,
I could create,
or at least modify,
their reality
in order to protect them.
But my powers diminished
as they grew and interacted
with the outside world.

My higher self knew
they had to learn to navigate
as best they could.
My lower self still holds a grudge
against a number of bullies
and a few coaches.

To love is to hurt with and for
the beloved.

I have been at this a long time.
The best I can do now
is ask that each of them
feel surrounded and grounded
by love.
Your Love.
My love.

And while You are at it,
please bless this little old
hurting heart of mine.
It’s been through a lot.

Thanks in advance,
Maria

By Maria Brady-Smith