Field Notes

Psychology textbooks
seem to draw
a distinct line
between middle and late adulthood
and so I imagined
that once my child-rearing days
were over,
once career ambitions
waned,
I’d settle into the rocking chair
of old age.

But it turns out,
“aging” is a whole long,
gradually changing process,
and like “motherhood”,
a world unto itself
that I am just beginning to learn.

I am not complaining,
just observing,
just reporting from here
in the field.

I am early in this process
but so far,
it feels like something
unexpected,
magical,
has been wedged
between the stages
of middle and old.

Its a lovely spot
most of the time,
if I let go of regrets
from the past,
fear of the future,
if I throw away the textbooks
and make it up
as I go.

There is an urgency, sure,
knowing that decline will come
slowly or quickly.

But is an urgency
to slow down,
to do less and be more,
to attend to what matters most,
to savor long love
and all its bounty.

By Maria Brady-Smith
Photo by Mike Smith