Clara is 38 now and I still feel exactly the same.

Clear and Bright
To Clara on her 34th birthday

Being your mother
has so defined my path,
it is hard to conceive that
there was a time
before.

But on this, your birthday,
I want to travel back and back
through my many life phases
to the beginning of you.

I was so naive,
so unprepared to care for another.
Still, just the notion of you,
amorphous pearl inside of me,
gave me sure focus
and determination.
You changed everything.

We grew together, you and I,
each expanding
into our distinct way of being.

You worked hard to be born
all that snowy March night.
As the sky opened up,
so did I
and you arrived
with the dawn.

The moment I saw you, I knew.
I knew.

Clear and bright,
this was a girl
whose gentle and abiding strength
filled the room.
I was holding my beyond.

I have lived in awe
ever since.


By Maria Brady-Smith
Photo by Mike Smith